It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
