Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
