Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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