He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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