She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
