your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
