i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize