is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
