"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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