saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
