Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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