I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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