this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
