It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
