Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize