ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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