I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize