He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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