I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
