My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
