don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
