Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
