JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
