literally had 100 drinks last night.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
