I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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