just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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