That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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