High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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