you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
