I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
