I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
