I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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