So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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