Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.