We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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