no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she told me i tasted like america
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
