You're completely useless in the revolution.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
