Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
be right there i have to get my cape
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.