you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
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Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.