dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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