would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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