i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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