now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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