Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Girls should come with a carfax report
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
