Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am one with the molecules
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
