Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
