Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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