I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
