shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
