Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
