Will you blow on my dice?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
