I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
