it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
